STOP LIVING FOR EVERYONE ELSE. START LIVING FOR YOU.
Therapy for People- Pleasing in Chapel Hill, NC
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re tired. Tired of giving your all for everyone else and having nothing left for yourself. If you’re tired of saying yes when you really want to say no, drained from putting the needs of others before your own, and constantly worried about letting people down, I get it. It’s exhausting.
People-pleasing usually starts as a way of keeping the peace but over time, it just leaves you running on empty. Therapy gives you space to understand why you put your needs last, drop the constant guilt, and learn how to set clear boundaries. Taking this first step isn’t selfish. It’s how you start reclaiming your power.
People-pleasing isn’t just about being nice or helpful to others. It’s a learned survival strategy. It usually starts as a way to stay safe or gain approval by keeping others happy. Over time, it develops into an unconscious habit of prioritizing others’ needs, while ignoring your own. Maybe you recognize yourself in some of the experiences listed below.
You might benefit from Therapy for People-Pleasing in Chapel Hill if…
You feel personally responsible for regulating everyone else’s emotions
Saying “no” to a friend is followed by 3 days of ruminating over whether this friend is upset with you
You overcommit in an effort to prove yourself to others
You find yourself drafting and redrafting simple messages, worried that your words might be misconstrued
Setting a boundary leads to overwhelming guilt
You’re afraid of disappointing others
You over-apologize constantly
Therapy for People-Pleasing in Chapel Hill, NC can work for you!
What if you could go from:
Saying yes when you mean no → Setting boundaries without the urge to over-explain
Absorbing the needs and values of everyone around you → Reconnecting with your identity and personal values
Staying quiet to keep the peace → Speaking up with confidence
Feeling silently resentful toward the people you love → Communicating your needs and feelings clearly
Apologizing when you did nothing wrong → No longer taking the blame for things outside of your control
Step 1:
We’ll start by looking at why you default to people-pleasing. Did this develop as a protective mechanism? In what ways does it keep you feeling safe? This will help us understand where your need to keep everyone happy comes from.
Step 2:
Next, you’ll learn how to pause before responding and give yourself time to figure out what it is that you want, instead of just defaulting to “yes”. You’ll learn to handle the discomfort of setting boundaries and stop taking responsibility for everyone’s feelings.
Step 3:
Finally, we’ll practice simple ways to speak up, say “no” with confidence, and set boundaries so that you can show up authentically in your relationships without sacrificing your own wellbeing.
ALEXA DESLAURIERS, LCMCHC, CRC
MEET YOUR CHAPEL HILL THERAPIST FOR PEOPLE-PLEASING
Hi, I’m Alexa, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor who helps adult women move from anxious over-extending to authentic connection. You can still build and maintain healthy relationships while honoring your own needs. My approach to therapy is collaborative, grounded, and deeply human.
This work means something to me: I’ve been the girl who stayed quiet out of fear of upsetting others. I know the physical and mental exhaustion of holding it all together for everyone else’s sake. I’ve been the “yes” person more times than I’d like to admit. At the end of the day, was I happy? No- it just felt easier.
I believe you deserve genuine care from someone who gets it.
FAQ: Therapy for People-Pleasing Women in Chapel Hill
-
There’s a big difference between kindness and people-pleasing. Kindness stems from a place of choice and care for both yourself and others. People-pleasing is driven by anxiety and includes an urge to keep others satisfied. Kindness is light, whereas people-pleasing feels like an obligation.
-
People-pleasing can show up in everyday patterns, including:
Feeling deep guilt after setting a boundary
Chronic apologizing, even when you’ve done nothing wrong
Quiet resentment from constantly giving and never feeling appreciated
Hiding your opinions to avoid conflict and keep the peace
Feeling responsible for other people’s moods
-
Yes! Therapy offers a supportive space to work through and understand your people-pleasing tendencies. You will learn to tolerate the short-term discomfort after setting boundaries and gain confidence in speaking up for your needs.
-
I am currently accepting clients with BlueCross BlueShield, Aetna, and Aetna SHP.
I am happy to provide a superbill for clients that would like to use out-of-network benefits and file for reimbursement. I offer competitive self-pay rates for therapy in the Triangle (Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill) and all of North Carolina.
Intake session: $250
Follow-up sessions: $200
Please note that rates are reviewed periodically and are subject to revision. These changes will be communicated to you in writing should they occur.
The Golden Collective accepts credit/debit cards and HSA/FSA cards. Your card will be placed on file for convenient payment of future sessions. Payment is due at the time of each session.
-
Reach out anytime via the contact page or email me at alexa@thegoldencollectivepllc.com. I will respond within 48 hours.
LOOKING FOR SOMETHING ELSE?
Other Services
For those who feel consumed by worry, overwhelmed by the “what ifs” of the world, or like they can never fully relax. It’s time to pause and learn how to enjoy life, without living in fear.
Develop tools to manage excessive worry and overthinking.
Challenge negative thoughts and catastrophic thinking.
Build tolerance for uncomfortable emotions.
Reduce avoidance and increase confidence in everyday situations.
Anxiety Therapy
For the ones who cycle between restricting and overeating, rely on strict food rules, or feel preoccupied by the number on the scale. Learn to recognize what you’re actually feeling behind all the self-imposed rules.
Develop a healthier, more balanced relationship with food.
Build body acceptance and improve body image.
Learn healthier ways to cope with difficult emotions.
Trust yourself around food again.
Eating Disorder Therapy
For anyone who’s felt weighed down by the pressure to be perfect, keep it all together, and avoid asking for help. Put down the mask and take a deep breath. There are no performance reviews here.
Develop a healthier relationship with achievement and success.
Separate self-worth from productivity.
Practice letting go of control and embracing flexibility.
Set realistic expectations and healthier boundaries.
Therapy for Perfectionism
READY TO START THERAPY FOR PEOPLE-PLEASING IN CHAPEL HILL, NC?
Let’s do it!
Saying no doesn’t make you a bad person. You deserve to show up for yourself without feeling guilty. Reach out to schedule a free consultation. It’s time to start giving giving yourself the same care you give everyone else.
